How the Pandemic has helped and hurt me as a mother.
I, like millions of others, never thought I would be living during a pandemic. However, pandemics are inevitable. Viruses are always mutating and with global travel a daily occurrence, the spread of viruses is even faster than in the past. Still, many didn’t ever think or even conceive that it would happen. It has changed the daily lives of almost everyone. As a mother, quarantine with my children was not something I ever thought would happen. It has been both a blessing and blight. In coming to terms with my feelings around this situation, I’ve composed a list of how it has hurt and helped me as a mother.
Helped:
More time with my children
Before the pandemic, I was working full-time and attending school. I would go from school to work to home to bed and do it all again the next day. Even on the weekends, I had to find time to study and keep my grades up. I had no time to spend with my daughter at all. I had to tell myself that when I had a better job I’d have more time with her. I feel like I missed so much, she walked and talked for the first time when I wasn’t there. Since losing my job, I have been able to spend everyday with my daughter and my newborn son. I no longer come home to her sleeping or her trying to stay up to see me.
Better schedule
Before the pandemic, my schedule was all over the place. I was up late either studying or working. Due to this, often times my daughter would be asleep when I got home. Or she would be awake waiting for me. I found it hard to impose a scheduled bedtime on her when I so desperately wanted to see her more. I would let her stay up late with me despite my desire to have her on a schedule. Due to the pandemic, I lost my job and I’ve been able to focus on school in a more constructive way. I have created a schedule to allow for study time and family time. This means that I can get my children on a schedule better suited for them. We now go to bed at a descent time and have a more set schedule.
More time outdoors in summer months
I’ve never been an outdoors sort of person. In fact, I tend to do everything possible to avoid the outside if possible. However, there is only so much that can be done inside a small two-bedroom house with five people in it. I believe it’s important for children to have a good amount of time outdoors safely. With our limited options, we were able to take more walks and just enjoy our little neighborhood. We don’t even need to play on the playground because there is so much beauty to enjoy. It was a great way to spend time together.
Eating healthier
When you spend a great deal of time outside of the house running from work to school, your diet can be extremely unhealthy. When you’re so tired you don’t want to do anything but get home, it can be easy to fall into a routine of frequent fast-food. In addition, its hard to organize healthy meals for your children when you aren’t home. Who knows what they are eating when you aren’t there to offer some healthy options. Now, I have extra time to make a healthy dinner and make sure vegetables and fruits are included in daily snacks.
Hurt:
Out of ways to entertain
Preschoolers are so hard to entertain long term. They have such short-term attention span and can’t focus on one thing for very long. When you can’t go anywhere it’s hard to keep them engaged day after day. Even as a parent, there are only so many games you can plan with a preschooler. I find it entertaining at first playing games with my daughter, but after the 50th game of hide-and-seek with stuffed animals it loses it’s charm. I enjoy board games, but at least my daughter doesn’t have the capacity to sit still or remember how to play the game.
Stir-crazy
I absolutely love my children. I recently gave birth to a son, and our house now has five people in it. Due to everything going on, it has been difficult to get into a three-bedroom house. As much as I love my family, it can be hard to deal with them 24/7. Especially now that it is winter time and outdoor activities are basically non-existent. My step-son and daughter love to play together but they don’t have much space to do so. They easily wake up their newborn brother and he gets frustrated when he is tired. It can be overwhelming and frustrating some days being cooped up inside for so long.
Increased screen time
Unfortunately, when you are forced to stay home screen time becomes a very integrated part of daily life. I suppose we are lucky, those in the past didn’t have much to keep them immediately connected to the world during times of crisis. However, increased screen time makes me, and I’m sure other parents, worry. I suffer from migraines and a big part of what can trigger them for me is increased screen time. I worry to much screen time might trigger headaches for my children as well. I also worry too much screen time will cause my daughter to need glasses later on. As someone who wears glasses, I can say from experience I’d rather my children not have to worry about that.
Homeschooling is no joke
Once upon a time I thought homeschooling would be something to try with my daughter when she finally went to school. My step-son has always gone to public school and I considered homeschooling him as well. Now that we are forced to home school I can very well say that’s a bad idea for us. It works so well for some families and I’m happy for them. It just doesn’t work with ours. At least not right now with me being in school also. I have way to much on my plate with managing the home, taking care of a newborn, and attending school myself. I don’t have enough time or energy to teach my children as well. I praise teachers highly for what they do, they truly are the best. I look forward to the day they can safely go back to school.
Conclusion
This year has been unlike any other in my life. It’s that way for so many people. I’m so grateful that we have remained healthy and have a roof over our heads each night. Despite the many challenges our family faces, I really have treasured the extra time I’ve spend with them. My children will only be little once and I want to enjoy it while it lasts. One day they will be grown and have their own lives separate from me. This pandemic has allowed us to structure our time better and improve our lives. I wrote this to mostly try and look on the bright side of what is happening. I worry everyday about my children and everything that is going on, but it has been nice to have some small comfort for myself during this crisis.
